Hello, dear reader. There, we’re meeting again to talk about such an important subject in Christian dating. What is a man’s role in a Christian relationship? Since I mostly talk about the responsibilities of a Godly woman, I thought it would be good to present the other side of the picture.
My wise friend told me a while ago something very insightful. She said something like: “My role as a woman is not merely my role. It is also to remind my man of his role”. Isn’t that wonderfully said? God created us male and female, and we complement each other so well. Yes, sometimes there are many miscommunications around this area, but come on, let’s sit down for a virtual cup of tea and unpack this fascinating subject.
Before we do, I actually have a confession to make. Are you ready?
Man = Danger?
Yup, you caught me. This was my mindset exactly, still a few years ago. I would assume that every man is evil and wants to hurt me in one way or the other. I failed to see the beauty of healthy masculinity, and sadly, this is more common than you think nowadays. With the feminist agenda spreading, it is hard to see men as good and needed.
So, how did my mindset shift? Well, I’ve met the perfect man. Jesus. I understood that this was the design – a man who is willing to die for somebody whom he loves. Strong, yet tender, kind, yet stern, loving, yet leading. Full of contrasts, yet so… safe.
I understood I cannot live in my stereotypical thinking anymore. I cannot live in fear. Just like not every woman is fulfilling her role, the same is with the men – sometimes they fail as fathers, husbands, and leaders, but it doesn’t mean they are all there to harm us.
And the truth is, the more masculine the men, the more feminine the woman can become. Beautiful Christian wall art collection focused on Proverbs 31 presents that beautifully.
I could write more about healthy femininity and masculinity dynamics, but for now, I want to focus on a question that you must be asking yourself for a while now:
What Is a Man’s Role In a Christian Relationship?
Let’s look at the Bible first, shall we?
1 Corinthians 11:3
“But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God“.
Well, the order is clear – of course, it applies mostly to marriage, but what is Christian dating if not preparation for it? Christ comes first – He is the king of everything, including relationships. Then there is a man who represents Him, as the other passage says:
Ephesians 5:25-28
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”
That’s a powerful passage! A man’s role in a Christian relationship is not to be superior to a woman, but rather, to give himself up for her and become her servant. Wow! Such leadership and strength… So, practically, his role is to show you Jesus. To bring you closer to faith, to guide you, and to lead you in the wisdom of God the Father.
What Is the Man-Woman Dynamics Then?
I wrote a whole article about gender roles in Christian dating. It covers this aspect of the topic more in depth, so if you’re interested, make sure to check it out.
Did you know that the word from the Bible that refers to Eve being Adam’s helper is the same Hebrew word referring to God helping Israel? Isn’t that just wow? Being a Godly woman is more than tending to home, and nurturing – it’s so much deeper than that.
And a man’s role in a Christian relationship is to protect your femininity. Let me put it this way: Masculinity should be respected, femininity should be protected. Men should be gentle with women, letting them blossom in faith and gentleness. People wrongly assume that if the man is a head, then a woman is a neck. This just creates more confusion.
In reality, a woman is a man’s crown.
So, Practically, What Is a Man’s Role in a Christian Relationship?
If a proper man of God should be a leader in a marriage, during dating, he should already have become one. He should pursue you, not vice versa. Yes, I don’t think it’s bad for a woman to initiate the first step or encourage a man, but further on, you want him to step up and ask you out. You want him to initiate the talk about you two. Leadership initiates, and submission responds.
If this order is mixed already in a dating stage, it will be even more underlined during marriage. That’s why it is so important to ensure a woman grows in her femininity, while a man learns how to step up in his masculinity.
His role is also to provide for you and protect you. So a guy who asks you to pay for the date… Well, I understand that these times have different rules, but I’m “conservative” about that one. If he does not have money for a date (no matter how simple – walking in the park and sharing a pretzel does not cost a fortune), how can you be sure he will be able to provide for you later on? When he cannot plan a date, how can he plan the future with you? I don’t want to repeat the motto, but girl, don’t settle.
The last time I checked, a man literally died for you. Bare minimum is not what we are looking for.
Of course, it also applies to us, women, to work on ourselves so we become the best wife material we can become. For example, here are a few tips on becoming a Godly wife material. At the same time, men should do their part too.
I hope it was helpful, and now you know what is a man’s role in a Christian relationship. I enjoyed this virtual tea with you – hope you will stick around. 🙂
Blessings!