Welcome to Christian Wife Life, a place where we thrive as Christian women and homemakers. Today, let’s dive into a topic that has been painted with awful misconceptions—intimacy in a Christian marriage. When I became a wife, I discovered the lies about intimacy and also found out the truth. Ready to get rid of the lies?
1. Gray is the Only Shade
Even when we were way too small to understand this, we were being bombarded with jokes and fake info that once you get married, the exciting part of life and the potential of having mind-blowing romance ends. It’s time to conquer the myth that intimacy in marriage is as dull as a grayscale photo. Your marriage is a canvas, and just like an artist adds layers and colors, so should you. YOU are the painter! Do not agree to grey only, girl, take your crayons and paint!
2. Perfect Scenes and (always white!) Perfect Sheets – the lies about intimacy that we thank Hollywood for
Hollywood has a way of portraying love like it’s always perfect – flawless sheets, orchestrated moves, and zero awkward moments. Hahaha, good joke, La La Land. We are not stupid – we know better. You can have the bedsheets in the color you want, and it can be as far from white as ever!
Your bedroom is not a movie set, and good for you! Otherwise, you would need to spend two hours getting your makeup and hair ready. And a couple of people are adjusting the scene every three minutes. No, thank you! It’s better to embrace the authenticity of your unique masterpiece of intimacy in marriage.
3. Romance is Always Explosive – the lies about intimacy told by the movies
Romantic comedies may lead us to believe that every intimate encounter should be explosive, filled with fireworks. But in reality, intimacy is like a watercolor painting – subtle, layered, and beautifully nuanced. Average romance is okay, too!
Of course, once in a while, it is fun to explore, do something different, or simply change the location. But yet, everyday intimacy is needed too. Just like with dinner, you like to go out and eat seafood, but daily homemade spaghetti is a nice meal too! Gosh, I did this again. Why am I such a dull writer, and literally every metaphor that I make needs to have something to do with food? Maybe I should start a culinary blog…
4. Time-Issue
Do you know this passage of the Bible that recommends a man to take one year off just to learn how to please his wife? Yup, that says a lot. This is a whole philosophy – your husband will need time to figure out how your body works.
In the age of instant gratification, some believe that great intimacy should happen effortlessly – more, you might believe the highest form of intimacy is reaching the pleasure together. That’s not true at all.
Remember, creating a masterpiece takes time. Like an artist who patiently layers colors to achieve perfection, invest time and effort into your intimate connection. Oh my, it sounded so cringey! See, eventually it turns out better when I stick to food metaphors.
5. Physical Appearance Expectations
Thank you, photoshopped magazines, and way too big and way too bald billboards. You portrayed for us a fake vision, and many of us believed you. A fulfilling love life isn’t reserved only for people with model-like bodies – real beauty comes in every shape and size.
These are just lies, and your bodies, just like colors, are unique and beautiful in their own way. Celebrate the diversity and find pleasure in the authenticity of your connection. Taking care of your appearance is good, but it is not an obligation in order to have a fulfilling intimacy with your husband.
6. Happily Ever After
Yes, that’s what every Harlequin book will tell you – falling in love, wedding, and the rest is just fantastic and effortless. It’s hard work! It’s communicating, failing, improving, and communicating once more. Fairy tales may promise happily ever after, but in reality, relationships require effort and communication. Like blending colors to create a harmonious palette, work together to ensure your intimate life evolves and adapts over time.
7. One Size Fits All – the lies about intimacy created by billboards
Well, that one can be understood metaphorically and literally too. Just like billboards that showcase one-size-fits-all beauty, the idea that there’s a universal standard for a great love life is just a lie. Your desires and preferences are as diverse as a color palette. Explore what works for you and your partner, creating your own masterpiece.
See how many lies we believe? I bet there are many more, but as long as we stick to the Truth, we’re fine. Break free from the lies about intimacy, embrace the authenticity of your unique connection, and paint your love life with the colors that resonate with both of you. Remember, the masterpiece is yours to create.
Want to grow deeper in love with your husband and thrive as a Christian wife? Check more articles on Christian marriage here.
You go girl! 😀